Clash of the Titans (1981)

Clash of the Titans marks the end of an era, and a grand swansong for stop-motion animator Ray Harryhausen. In an age where computer controlled effects were becoming the standard, Harryhausen was still one of the few who could orchestrate an entire scene of multiple figure models into expressive believable action.

The story strings together several classic Greek myths and monsters in an episodic adventure starring Perseus (Harry Hamlin), a sheltered son of Zeus who finds himself abruptly put onto the path of destiny, aided by a magic sword, shield, and helmet. The plot is little more than a device to take the hero from one monster to the next, generally in the form of “impossible” tasks that require death-defying confrontations and a few whacks from the magic sword to eventually save and win the Princess Andromeda (Judi Bowker).

It’s quaint effects were already passé, but audiences loved the film and it did very well at the box office. Harryhausen’s reverent interpretations of fantasy creatures was a refreshing antidote to the laser blasts and space capades of the late ’70s. As if to complete its paean to the classics, Mount Olympus is populated with a stellar cast of mature actors as the scheming gods and goddesses: Laurence Olivier is magnificent as Zeus, Ursula Andress a lovely Aphrodite, Maggie Smith as vengeful Thetis, Claire Bloom as cuckolded Hera….

A surprising number of MILFs are on display. In fact the film features so many attractive older women that Judi Bowker as the headstrong princess seems underage and inconsequential. Many reviewers have commented on her Barbie-like performance, and she submits to a brief but gratuitous nude bathing scene as she’s scrubbed for the Kraken’s dinner…, but give the actress credit for somehow retaining an air of regal dignity as she’s draped in a scratchy polyester disco dress and chained to a rock as the town watches her sacrificed to a monster from the sea.

Ziegfeld Follies (1946)

So…, MGM plans to make a huge sequel: a new Follies to feature the greatest stars and directors in Hollywood! Fred Astaire verses Gene Kelly! Judy Garland at her finest! Ravishing Ziegfeld Girl Lucille Ball! Fannie Bryce, Red Skelton, and Virginia O’Brien appear for comedy! An underwater Esther Williams number, and Cyd Charisse in a soap bubble ballet!

PRODUCER: We’ve signed William Powell to play Ziegfeld again!
MINION: But Sir, Florenz Ziegfeld died at the end of The Great Ziegfeld.
PRODUCER: Right! So…, we’ll open with William Powell in Heaven putting together the next Follies!
MINION: Do you think moviegoers will believe Ziegfeld went to Heaven, Sir?

This weekend’s snowstorm inspired this infinite white space.

Down to Earth (1947)

Rita Hayworth dazzles as the Greek goddess Terpsichore, muse of song and dance. When she discovers a Broadway show will portray her as a man-hungry jazz mama, she schemes to get down to Earth to set the producer straight. Somehow Terpsichore has seen director Alexander Hall’s other film Here Comes Mr Jordan and decides to borrow its premise and characters — she’s a goddess after all — making this sort of a sequel, or possibly a spin-off. Edward Everett Horton reprises his role as Messenger 7013, the officious clerk who warns the scheme will come to no good, while Roland Culver plays the benevolent Mr Jordan (replacing Claude Reins) who realizes the young producer’s fate is entwined with the meddling muse.
…more about Down to Earth

Xanadu (1980)

Although it’s often compared with Down to Earth, the 1947 musical about a meddling muse starring Rita Hayworth, Xanadu exists firmly in it’s own girly space-time continuum. An era of blousy peasant skirts slit to the waist, rollerskates, leg warmers, and hair ribbons. It marks the death of New York disco, the end of Studio 54 decadence, and harkens the dawn of Southern California, neon clothes, and workout tapes.

Xanadu is as wholesome as breakfast cereal, and had the marketing campaign to match! MCA Records president Bob Singer boasted that by the time Xanadu came out, everyone in America would have heard the name six to eight times. It featured the corn-pop goodness of Olivia Newton-John — a triple threat who could act dance and sing — sprinkled with the high-fructose soundtrack by Electric Light Orchestra. The film was studded with references to art and literature (the title is lifted from the opium-hazed poetry of Samuel Taylor Coleridge), revived the three-part harmony of the Andrews Sisters, paid homage to golden age musicals by Comden and Green, and almost saved a streamline art deco landmark, the Pan Pacific Auditorium. After the success of Saturday Night Fever and Grease, Hollywood musicals seemed to be on the verge of a new platinum age. Gene Kelly was called out of retirement to bless the adventure. It couldn’t fail.
…more about Xanadu