The Clinging Vine (1926)

Something I’m learning about early DeMille films, he LIKED women. He was willing to flatter his actresses and record bold yet true emotions from them into his camera. His stories are equally bold, but not as true. The plots are farces, bedroom plays of cheating husbands and scheming wives which rely on coincidence to further the plot, and ultimately climaxing with his star in a stunning costume as she manipulates the men with sex appeal.

The Clinging Vine is a twist on that old plot, suggesting women would be superior in the office as well as the home. Enter Leatrice Joy as A.B. who is practically running the company, but has given up her femininity. Introduced only with initials, and seated at a desk of whirring office activity, we accept A.B. as a man. Helped by a dashing haircut and tailored business suit Leatrice Joy is the image of a young hero. Dedicated, hardworking, and ready to be the victim of female manipulation.
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The Ten Commandments (1956)

Forget what you THINK you know about Moses: he stammered…, he had a Black Nubian wife…, and his filthy mouth kept him out of the holy lands. This was back when God was meaner and lived in a volcano…, before He moved to heaven (just like Dr Evil had a secret volcano base in the first Austin Powers movie, then a base in outerspace for the sequel…. Coincidence? I don’t think so.)

But the Ten Commandments isn’t about God. It’s about a woman, Neferteri “the beauty of Egypt”. The man she marries will become Pharoe and rule the Earth. Neferteri prefers stepbrother Moses who races chariots and saves old women from being crushed under the monumental obilisk he is raising in honor of their father Moses is helped by the fact he’s played by manly-man Charlton Heston who looks great in a skirt! Neferteri does not want Ramses, the delicious Yul Brenner who also looks great in a skirt, but has a chip on his shoulder from Moses getting all the attention from father. Ramses only wants Neferteri because of the wealth and power that comes with her. Did I mention they all have the same father? Whatever.

The point is Ramses will do anything to discredit Moses and claim Neferteri (and Egypt) for himself. Even trumping up this whole “born a Hebrew slave” rumor to daddy. Neferteri doesn’t mind if Moses gets dirty making mud bricks. She doesn’t care if he’s a Hebrew. She’s open-minded, and as the embodiment of Egypt (and what a body!) she expects to get her way. But racism doesn’t really go away just because you’re in love, not even for a Queen. Moses is banished and Neferteri is forced to marry Ramses instead.

Now learn all ye men, Hebrew and Egyptian alike! If there is ONE moral of this tale you take to your grave it is that a miserable wife will destroy your kingdom, poison you with insults, bring a series of plauges on your house, and kick you in the balls in front of your army. History might know about Moses and Ramses, but DeMille knows about scorned women!
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