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Clash of the Titans (1981)

Clash of the Titans marks the end of an era, and a grand swansong for stop-motion animator Ray Harryhausen. In an age where computer controlled effects were becoming the standard, Harryhausen was still one of the few who could orchestrate an entire scene of multiple figure models into expressive believable action.

The story strings together several classic Greek myths and monsters in an episodic adventure starring Perseus (Harry Hamlin), a sheltered son of Zeus who finds himself abruptly put onto the path of destiny, aided by a magic sword, shield, and helmet. The plot is little more than a device to take the hero from one monster to the next, generally in the form of “impossible” tasks that require death-defying confrontations and a few whacks from the magic sword to eventually save and win the Princess Andromeda (Judi Bowker).

It’s quaint effects were already passé, but audiences loved the film and it did very well at the box office. Harryhausen’s reverent interpretations of fantasy creatures was a refreshing antidote to the laser blasts and space capades of the late ’70s. As if to complete its paean to the classics, Mount Olympus is populated with a stellar cast of mature actors as the scheming gods and goddesses: Laurence Olivier is magnificent as Zeus, Ursula Andress a lovely Aphrodite, Maggie Smith as vengeful Thetis, Claire Bloom as cuckolded Hera….

A surprising number of MILFs are on display. In fact the film features so many attractive older women that Judi Bowker as the headstrong princess seems underage and inconsequential. Many reviewers have commented on her Barbie-like performance, and she submits to a brief but gratuitous nude bathing scene as she’s scrubbed for the Kraken’s dinner…, but give the actress credit for somehow retaining an air of regal dignity as she’s draped in a scratchy polyester disco dress and chained to a rock as the town watches her sacrificed to a monster from the sea.

Jack the Giant Killer (1962)

It was a spiteful rip-off of Ray Harryhausen’s 7th Voyage of Sinbad. The stop-motion animation wizard was shopping for investors when he was turned down by producer Edward Small before the movie was funded by Columbia. Years later after Sinbad was a hit Small decided he could make his own version without Harryhausen, even going so far as to hire the same hero and villain, and the same director!

Harryhausen sued and won but the film had already bombed in theaters. To avoid a total financial loss on the television rights Small retooled the knight and sorcery fantasy as a musical, dubbing the actors voices and manipulating the film to make the actors mouths match the new lyrics!

This didn’t help the fact that the film already boasted some of the worst special effects ever shot in color: lumakeyed goblins that only shoot cartoon fire, unfinished puppetoons that sag like melting play-doh, and a hilarious cross-eyed sea monster you just wanna hug. Harryhausen it ain’t!

So what a surprise under all this camp to find such lovely photography and vivid costumes! Truly fantastic cat-eyed witches, a plush medieval castle in dense textures and tapestries, and colorful lighting that runs the gamut from storybook pictures to soft paintings.

LittleStick again. Love that alien tree….
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