Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)

Fearless Vampire Killers is painful to watch the first time: plods at a slow pace and flaunting a so dry it’s probably just not actually funny humor that is based in cringing slapstick and Yiddish oi veying. MGM supposedly did such a slashjob on the script that director and (uncredited) star Roman Polanski disowned it on release. And yet there is magic to it.

The sets are a marvel of manufactured decay. Every candelabra is drowned in melted wax. Every surface festooned with cobwebs. Interior textures are dense, dark, and dirty. Romanesque Gothique. Even the paintings are ghastly. A gray stone castle isolated in the snowy mountains and the disturbing choral music recreate the classic horror setting — but the script is anything but traditional!

Polanski turns every vampire movie cliche on its head. Despite the title no vampires are killed! The heroes are bumbling, the gouls range from pitiable to pathetic, and the lovely damsel-in-distress doesn’t want to be rescued…! Polanski has the dubious distinction of introducing the first Jewish vampire and the first gay-male vampire, both unfortunately for laughs, For good measure there’s a hunchback who is an embarrassing study in grotesque comedy….

And there’s Sharon Tate.

She is beautiful. Her cascade of red hair set against drab surroundings is like a warm fire on a miserable night. Little wonder she thinks getting kidnapped by an aging vampire as a step up from her dreary life among the poor. When Polanski finds her in the castle and vows to rescue her, her soft reply is “There’s a party tonight…. Did you see my dress?”

It’s clear she’s not giving up her new position for some love-struck schoolboy. When he doesn’t get the hint she sneaks away when his back is turned. Polanski has a knack of showing the differences between men and women through their actions not words, emphasizing the way men so often misread women because they are caught up in their own fantasy. Polanski crashes the undead party but Tate is unimpressed. His rescue speech changes to promises of Venice and the world beyond the mountain village, and for the first time Tate shows interest.

Charmingly, Polanski’s boy-hero grows up but not because he rescues the girl or slays the villain. It’s when he realizes he has to play into her fantasy to win.